this be christina
the kinda girl who'd run to kfc right after a two hour gym session mMmm, the naive kind who takes the stairs instead of the lift because she thinks she'll be getting a bit of thigh work out. lovelovelove beach, tanning, retail therapy, magazines, cheesecake, PULPY OJ, BROCOLLI, movies, LOADS OF MUSIC, mraz men HAHA, city, girlfriends, boyfriends & a good old-fashioned date.
the above was written last year. it's almost august09 and that hasn't changed. i'm now in further love with garlic sauce....... really
bucket list
learn 10 more foreign sayings
play paintball
watch the sunrise by the beach, again
kiss & don't tell
Saturday, November 7
i was watching a walk to remember earlier - and it gets me everytime. their date. how they're in two places at once. how he learns how to dance for her & they dance on their balcony together to Someday We'll Know by Mandy Moore ft. John Foreman. i love romance, that's for sure! it's put me in such a good mood. here's what made me awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww before i hit the sack. clicccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk !it also made me realize how much i loved that song TRUE by RYAN CABRERA :) it's amazing. oh wow. i'm such a dick LOL. btw a few weeks ago. a once special somebody apologized to me for something they did months and months ago that hurt, and i think im only blogging to express my thanks! they wont read it, but, really, thanks. i needed that closure even though i told myself i'll soldier on and take it. now, if only everybody had the decency to apologize! :P
Friday, November 6
teenagerants, not really ?
I am starting to read a book called Tuesdays With Morrie, and hopefully, by the time I finish reading it, Morrie's wisdom will sink in. Highly unlikely, as that takes time and experience but I hope I'll feel refreshed at least. Days pass quickly now and sometimes you realize wow, weeks go by and you don't even remember the slightest bit of it. I feel old, and that's not right. This happens though, right? I'll just take it as it is and hope for the very best. There's sunshine ahead. Well, there better be! I'm finally allowed out on Sunday and if Newtown isn't its usual bright self, I don't know what will be anymore. I'm scared to screw up with my English assignment. I'm scared to screw up with my Textiles assignment. I have a whole lot of fear on me right now and I just don't know what will shake it. I wish things were dandy at home, but the daunting thing is knowing that it'll be like this until I'm free, of HSC. I can't wait to be free. I want to live my life the way I want to. I know I won't have a car or even my P's at least, nor will I have saved up my travel money, but I do know I want to run. Keep pushing and you'll see how far away I'll be. :) On a lighter note, there's camp soon! I'm looking forward to it, it's actually the only thing I'm pumped for, but I don't want to be pumped for it because everytime I'm pumped for something these days, it turns chatttty.
UWS on tuesday made me realize how much I don't want to be at a uni that's so in the middle of nowhere, thanks! it also made me realize that i shouldn't bother with certain people. ooooops i gotta run for school now !
[edit]
i'm not allowed out on sunday, because apparently i'm grounded til monday. i'm only cut because she said yes in the first place and i was looking forward to it since monday haha. it's okay though. i guess, if i'm not allowed, i'll try and not let the day go to waste. and for the haters,sure, i'm a rude, drunken, selfish, bitchy slurrry and i'll sure as hell fail in life. believe what you want. i'll see how it goes! i know a lot of people treat everything as a competition, fair enough, but i'm willing to accept that i won't be better than you guys :) i'm fine with being me. i just need to find out who that is first! days have gotten better at school, but i hate being sick - i hope i'm not too sick next year, because i don't do anything. i'm at my worst. my nose hurts!
i love talking to great people on msn, you know who you are!
xxx
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Monday, November 2
sometimes it's not fair
that you worry and care & go out of your way to make sure something's okay only to be treated so little in return. it's happened before so i should be quite strong about everything but i think it's time to accept the fact that i'm a pussy . LOL. sigh.
it's going to be the longest, quickest year. that's okay :) keep your eye on the prize
p.s. when mylinh called & they wanted a girl's night, i was tanning in my backyard.. let's just say i can finally tick something off my list. ruthless. ;)
Saturday, October 31
I still don't know where I am anymore, where I stand. I guess the real question is, did I ever? Or was it only what I thought I knew. I'm honestly so sick and tired of my emotional bullshit, but what can you do - it's in me and it's consuming me. I'm a grumpy bitch these days and it's not fun! I'm sick of school, and everything else. I want out. I suppose it's jealousy that drives you insane sometimes - or maybe you just need a sense of direction. I hold grudges easily. I'm upset when I don't get my way. There are flaws and flaws and flaws. I don't know where I'm getting with this anymore, but honestly, I want out. At the same time I'm determined to prove them wrong. :(
I need a tub of cookies & cream ice cream
The other night I was looking through my old memory card in bed, it got so nostalgic! So the photos were like just over a year ago, yet they felt so far away. I was missing it so much. I know, we shouldn't be pondering over the past, but I can't help but long for old days - where the most memories were made. It made me heaps glad that I used to take heaps of photos, even though I didn't take photos everywhere, I really did capture the other moments. With every photo, I remember what we were like in that moment - most of the time we were happy cunts just mucking around with the camera! It's a shame it feels like ages since I've felt that way. I remember iceskating a few months ago, after taking a photo, Darithy's like "look how happy we look!" haha i love when people point stuff like that out. Well, all of a sudden I'm feeling happy again. I want to be happy again so I'm sick of letting things get in my way. I'm going to be happy whether you like it or not! :)
Thursday, October 29
Goooooood Morning :)
Mum went to work today (6:30) so I begged her for the password, for a bit of facebook update & blogdrive. Even though it's a pain at first, I just love being awake early in the morning. It's kind of special. I remember the days where I was always going to work 5 or 6, I would feel like daaaamn look what I accomplished. Now, I'm just lazy! But yeah, you know that feeling where you've run your errands, seen people, done your chores already and it's like twelve o'clock and somebody tells you "whoa, I just woke up". Sucker, you wasted half your day! At the same time, I love those days where I don't get out of bed til 2..
Giving blood donering another crack today! It's been three months since the last time - and since then I've eaten more beef, pasta, mushrooms & OJ so please tell me I've got enough iron :( I'm not looking forward to work tonight! I'm honestly so over it. I'm going to soldier on though, I promised myself I would last 6 months! ONE YEAR MAN, GO FOR ONE YEAR :) Okay okay I will stay for a year if nobody gives me shit! Besides, maybe I could pull off studying there.
Random Statuses over the past 24 hours that I liked :)
LIFE IS NOT OVER AFTER THE HSC!!! IT JUST BEGINS!!
refuses to "belong" in english adv any longer, up yours homework.
is thrilled! saving three lives tmrw; donating blood(:
next friday when i walk out of the school hall (for the last time) the
clouds will open and the sun will lift me to paradise... someone must
organise a massive bonfire for all our hsc notes, im not even
kidding... im looking at you jesse ;)
now sees the other side to life...life after the hsc :)
is emotionally and physically drained. damn you hsc!
two and a half weeks till uni is over.. A good and bad thing!!
at first he was the biggest dickhead, now he brings out the best in me and means the world to meeee ♥
LOL @ ZANE'S JOKE: What do you call James Bond in a bath? Bubble 07 HAHAHAHA!!
HEY! you remind me of a card game called "bullshit".
penis for dinner :)
just looked at the house we're staying at this weekend .. WOWWWW! :):)
i am not 19644227. I am a person. Fuck you hsc.
i write love letters before classes!
FINALLY GOT MY CAR!!! :D
is gonna hit up the STAR up in the CITY tonite
is funny cause, after all the bitching & crying you ran back to her ...
They were either inspiring, emotional or just random. I pictured myself in all of their shoes. I can't wait to be the one with a car, the one who's renting houses down the coast on weekends!!
Where do I see myself in a year's time?
Hopefully I won't be stressed, but I will. I think I'll be content just as long as I don't rage at myself for slacking off in yr 12. That's where I'll be truly disappointed. But as long as I give it my all, I'll just do my exams like I did the school cert, with a smile on my face! Then, when it's over, come November something - it's just a number, then I can unleash my inner party animal woooooooo and I'll be getting a new job I hope - for the summer. I always thought I'd travel but I don't have any money saved up on me, and I'm not sure if Alina does. I'd looooovvvvvve to go overseas. But I'd still settle for Sydney :)
I just realized - I'm doing 12 units right now. I'm sort of torn between choices here and there, and I don't know what would be smart to decide. Except, I'm going to carry out 12 units until next year, and hopefully I'll have a clear idea of what I want! Ungrounded in less than a fortnight, wooooooooooooooooo :)
Sunday, October 25
I felt happy after mum came in and asked me about UAI's and whatnot. It started with, "25%? Don't do it! You won't get into uni if you do 3U maths' LOL. I then explained how I'm going with my other subjects and she sort of gets it now.
Since working in crappy retail environment, constantly pushed and threatened to make sales - I think I know now that when I'm older, I don't want to be involved in sales. I don't want to do marketing, because for some reason it feels as if I'm encouraging consumerism. I don't like it! I don't want to encourage spending, especially on useless items. Money could be put towards so much better things :) This is way hypocritical considering the amount I've spent on useless junk - magazines, shimmering eye sticks, some clothes that I never touch. That just goes to show what a sucker I am - and how I fall for everything! I don't want to do that to people. I remember when this lady bought two elwood tees I remember her slightly shocked face when I told her it came to $120, and I felt so bad, cause when she went into the change room she was trying on $20 tees. She wouldn't have bought them if I didn't suggest them and tell her how great they looked on. I know, it's only a hundred, but - imagine putting away a hundred a week, the things you could save! My mum's my idol when it comes to saving - I wish I had that in my genes. I want a profession where I'll be helping others. Cliche, I know - but I truly do want that. Oh & I'm jealous of the ext history students - they get fooooooooood :( Mr Kwok orders pizza for them and they get to watch movies like every second week.
I watched Mell's Monster In Law. Woo, I love j.lo, she's so beautiful in every way. I don't want a massive wedding. I do want lovely scenery - so I think it's definitely outdoors. :)
I saw tash's entry, then larisa's, and i thought, when i first listened to it i felt totally different! here's my 2 cents worth
I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
(it doesn't where life takes us, but all i know is, we have to part)
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
(you gave me your everything and i won't ever forget that)
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
(i should go to make it easier for both of us to let go)
Looking at you makes it harder
(i'm not over you, and feelings resurface everytime i see your face)
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry
(i know you'll move on - and find somebody that won't hurt you like i did - you deserve to:))
Started with a perfect kiss
Then we could feel the poison set in
(it was magical .. it was bittersweet. they totally fought with passion!)
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
(umm hello, nothing's perfect. you're tryna say, it was too good to be true?)
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go.
(I love you and I'm willing to let you go and be happy
what she said! :)
and, she'll always love you .. she just wants you to be happy even if she doesn't get to have you, lucky cunt!)
oh by the way, i'm happy that it's raining. HAHA i am. i'm agreeeeeeing with the weather now:) oh dear, what's come over me? i'm going to go look for my walkman later! i'm so povo, without a decent mp3. LOL. okay i finally put divided my bit clutter ofmaths notes. now, time to chuck like 80% of it and rewrite notes, clearly, and re-learn the concepts & formulas. it's times like these where i think, why the fuck didn't i do it earlier? haha seniors were so right! i hope i spend this week writing notes!
and wooooo enrique iglesias' sexy voice :) i love the guy
Saturday, October 24
i have awesome neighbours :)
mentors are possibly the greatest people to talk to - and it's great vice versa too,
okay
i know i've said this heaps already
but i'm going to tryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
i don't know when :( sad, right?
BUT, I REALLY DO LIKE MY LIST OF REASONS NOT TO GIVE UP. GIVING UP IS SIMPLY NOT AN OPTION. I WANT TO GET THERE AND GET THERE I SHALL! HELLO WORLD, I'M GOING TO PROVE HATERS WRONGGGGGG:)
still woozy! don't know what it is. i watched Pretty Woman again, and that cheered me up. i can't find A Walk to Remember but i know watching that would cheer me up as well:)  i've always found julia roberts beautiful - especially when she smiles. such an amazing actor, i like when she plays a bit of a smartass. richard gere's not too bad for an old bloke ;) sometimes i wish my street was heaps quiet. like really dead. i honestly don't know which one i'd prefer? i never stop hearing vehicles and then there's the randoms on the street at night, carrying on - ugh sometimes i'm so easily agitated, sometimes i feel like i'm eighty! i want to be outdoors i want to remember what it's like to kiss in the rain i want to walk on old pavements london streets maybe what i really want is to strive to get into an international studies combined degree? i found some cut-offs in the mid eighties, i'm not sure if it's accurate.
Friday, October 23
how delayed am i,
the song that's been playing in my head for a month now
i finalllllly realized it was called One Love by david guetta& estelle. oh gosh, i'm so out of it! i bet in a few months time i'll discover synonyms for slurries and gasp, cos i'm not hip enough to know anymore :'( i'm aging buddy! anyway i'm currently burning a cd for the first time since year 7, let's hope my burner works! i remember using a walkman in primary, yes, for tapes! i'd have to manually record my cd tracks onto tape. then a year later they made portable cd players and we'd carry them to school, sometimes i'd bring my whole cd case! i bet primary schoolers are sporting ipods these days.
i've been on the net for ageeeees today but - come on - i was checking out courses and i found some that i was interested in :) at UTS .. hmm..
i'll be okay!!
it's just so weird though, that old me i used to know feels so distant. i was naive. i still am. if only i could tell myself what i knew now. it's going to be a longgggg 12 months ..
on the upside, i'm so excited about yr 12 formal! haha i know, it's like 11 months from now but you can't blame me for dreaming about what dress i'll find! today i was daydreaming about my wedding day :) gosh, i told you i'm weird, i don't even know what prompted me. actually, i do,
oh and i did horribly in the english exam, i failed and it wasn't good - the marks weren't that hard to get, i don't know why i'm doing so bad! i won't drop though, it's too late, i'm gonna stay.
THERE'S A FETE GOING ON NEARBY, MY PRIMARY, AND GOSH I WISH I WAS ALLOWED OUT. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I WANT TO SPEND MY ENTIRE SATURDAY IN SHORTS PLAYING SOCCER JUST LIKE WE USED TO :(
have a lovely weekend! and hsc maths students, STUDY HARD & ALL THE BEST xxxx
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