this be christina
the kinda girl who'd run to kfc right after a two hour gym session mMmm, the naive kind who takes the stairs instead of the lift because she thinks she'll be getting a bit of thigh work out. lovelovelove beach, tanning, retail therapy, magazines, cheesecake, PULPY OJ, BROCOLLI, movies, LOADS OF MUSIC, mraz men HAHA, city, girlfriends, boyfriends & a good old-fashioned date.
the above was written last year. it's almost august09 and that hasn't changed. i'm now in further love with garlic sauce....... really
bucket list
learn 10 more foreign sayings
play paintball
watch the sunrise by the beach, again
kiss & don't tell
Wednesday, November 18
i will stop buying magazines :) i will only buy them once a month & most preferably, be cleo
i lost money yesterday, i always get cut when that happens :(
i have only two lessons at school today - i'm gonna rock up on time, and on the first triple free i'm going to paint britney posters! just, i can't think of anything awesome. britney's in a day's time and we still don't have outfits :( :( how unorganised. the assignment is two week's time ad i still haven't started! ?? ffs. i just can't start yet :(
i'm so disappointed in myself, i've gotten offtrack with school again. i've been getting distracted with things that, feel right at the time, but seriously - they're just not right. i'm going to be strong and overcome this. i have to. this is it. i have to keep telling myself everyday that, i'm doing this whether i like it or not!
i actually broke down the other day and my mum thought something epic happened! i was like sniffing, telling her, no, i'm just stressed about school :'( and she insisted that i tell her the truth, who was making me cry. LOL i swear, it was school and all this pressure. the funny thing is, maybe i'm not even under that much pressure - it's as if i were making it worse all on my own!
i better run for school! x
btw
i love
Jay-Z ft. Alicia - Empire State of Mind
just something about it!
Sunday, November 15
sunday night,
i'm not allowed, but i did it anyway. there's something about it that makes me want to talk to you - but a part of me, realizes maybe that it's for all the wrong reasons: security, comfort, a form of escape. i'm in my happy place when we talk and i sense that you are as well - but i know what i am and that has got to change - misleading. a certain somebody reminded me about new years resolutions. i've been making them every year of my adolescence & it's funny to think that i completely forgotten about them this year. as i grow up, i realize, i'm forgetting everything :(
i love that time of year when you write up new years resolutions - i mean, everybody has that bit to look forward to - the new year hype! i won't be with my friends this new year, i'm with my melb family :) and hopefully things will stay cheerful.
okay, i just came back to my senses! okay, no :) no :) no :) now, to tell him! give me a week or two. hm. i'm a bit worried to go to school. no, i can't man up haha, i'm easily intimidated !
oh and yesterday, it was quite the interesting saturday! i went to bed at 3 on friday and kick started my saturday just before 6:30 - neil's punishment work out because i caved in and ate kfc after like not even two weeks! i didn't stretch, so well, it hurt a lot! and i've come to realize that i'm a lazy shit, i kept making the guy stop haha. nah but, he's good to have around for this stuff! then went back to my place to do sit ups - like it's been a year since i've done them. troi oi, it was hell! if only he lived nearby, i could so do this every week. but the reality is that, he doesn't. so i'll continue living my slothy lifestyle!
:(
new years resolutions..
tutor on saturday! second lesson there, i like the teacher!
i like that the class isn't packed
i don't like that it's expensive LOL
i don't like that i feel in adequate in class
then afterwards i went to cheso library to finish my work but it was closed! so i went to the park but there were ants on the seats. so i went to the station to sit but there was trackwork so the guy took pity on me being the poor girl who's waiting for a train. i simply answer "sorry, the library was closed, could i please just study here?" .. and it lasted like 2 mins, then somebody picked me up and we just talked for hours! then i walked em home and went to hayleys :) i felt bad because i came early and it was just her boyf over, i hope i wasn't disturbing! i love her house, it's so comfy & there are soo many christmas decorations up!!!! i had a pepsi, then we walked to alex's! got there and her mum and brother were already tipsy on the alcoholic slushie, which by the way, is soo good, i never want to drink again - i just want slushie for the rest of my days :( then we got ready and blah blah later, party! it was her brother's 21st so, only like us 4 were our age. i was totally anti social, because well, :)) :(( but omg speech time and i felt so sad, it was soo sweet - the three besties. and his mum. and then when he thanked people for coming and teared up. i want to feel that way - i want to cry happy tears! did i not bucket list that year? in fact, where the fuck is my bucket list, i should really MAKE one
Saturday, November 14
i had a lovely friday night as opposed to my friday dayyyy :) hahah well let's just say fri 13th kicked in and i was feeling lower than ever. i've come to realize, it sucks when i let things affect me. i couldn't concentrate on school, in class or homework - nothing at all. i can't think when they're on my mind.
i can't let them get the better of me, i just can't.
i'm glad a good friend of mine that the effort to catch up. thanks :) we're at quite a weird place, but, don't hesitate to talk to me. we're weird that way. i know somehow at the end of the day, we're here. i'm glad i still feel that sense.
and tonight
leanne's house is beaaaaaaautiful. her family as well. her as well :) and naomi HAHA funniest kid. the restaurant,t he streets, the park, the maccas, being bloated, getting ready with the straightener LOL . it felt so good to feel the funny simple t hings. ahhhh. . so much to look fwd to in life. don't give up. ! it was so fun, i've forgotten what it's like to enjoy a night out so much. thanks girls. that's all i have t o say. wish me luck on working hard this weekend :S please don't get too distracted :/
Friday, November 13
it's gloomy weather today, that's a shame. i was texted an invite to some party, sounds fun, but really, i'm heaps glad leanne's doing something for her birthday - i've never hung with her outside school:) so let's pray the sun comes out for a beautiful sunsetsetset. i don't know what i'll wear but it doesn't matter, 317 here we come. i can't stop thinking about the chicken! we have a textiles excursion in a few weeks, i'm so pumped cos i've been waiting for an excursion since forever but like it sounds lame LOL let's work on making it mad! i haven't been doing as much hw these days, i can feel myself slacking off! yesterday i was supposed to knuckle down when i came home from work but i ended up trying on clothes then i saw a cockeroach and didn't want to get off my bed after that. oh and my leg muscles have been killllllllling when i put on heels or sometimes when i wake up ?? is that when you pull a muscle or something, cos it hurts :(
i have 3u's of free periods so for about 5 of them i'm with nomey jimmy and simote & the other 8ish i'm with leanne, yarah, robert, amanda & matt. woo, i'm glad it wasn't like, you know. which leads me to another thing, who the hell steals a box of eyelashes from your room at your own birthday party? i know that drinks were stolen and chocolates from my birthday present were stolen =/ but then my own falsies, like fuck you. lol. seriously, ask me and i won't mind. but ugh i hate stealing from others, like ffs. who the hell buys you 10$ alki and tell you that everybody chipped in and it's so expensive that they had to get it imported from germany for like 80$. i want to rage but i just ajfkajsl atm . i had this dream & it felt good. and come to think of it, yeah, people would kill to see me fall. even the person you thought you could trust, second or third to most, even you.
offff to eat brekkie and catch my bus! i've been slacking off lately, i felt like i haven't ran in ages. and i ate so much shittt yesterday but, i'm allowed to give into cravings right ? :)
Thursday, November 12
i think it's becoming a habit to get on the net right before school when mum isn't home! and blogging then is so much better than before, i mean i would leave it hanging for hours in the evening. omg but it's 20 to 8 and i'm still not changed and my teeth isn't brushed
whitney got a tatt the other day and it's sooooo hot! usually i really hate tats with a bunch of stars (like rihanna's) but her's is so good - and it's a hot spot! but then i realized maybe it wasn't the tat itself that's hot, maybe it's just her body and where she had it done LOL. oh well. she's got the balls though, i really want to gather up the balls one day! if i ever, it'd be small and it would have to be meaningful - the person i love the most is definitely a part of it. mum's the word!
and i've been trying nott o touch facebook, so instead i read my fb shit on hotmail, which temp's me! and MEL IF YOU'RE READING, I'M GLAD YOU'RE USING THE ACROSS THE UNIVERSE AS YOUR RELATED MATERIAL - YOU DIDN'T EVEN NEEDA COPY IT THOUGH, YOU COULD'VE JUST USED IT! (L)
I think I'm selecting Looking For Alibrandi, Bend It Like Beckham & i still can't decide on a poem or lyric yet. i'm really scared of this assignment, it's due so soon and i still have trouble beginning. i really appreciate when people believe in you, or when they hand down their notes or offer to help you. it makes you feel like you should keep going!
i don't know where i am but hopefully i'll be good at this - good at letting go of evil. well, learning to not let it change me - learning not to let it get to me. anyway bus soon! OOH YESTERDAY I ATE SO MUCH :( i was craving everything but nothing was satisfying me. i'm having mangoes for school today, yay! and anna, her women's health diary inspires me, it's so bubbly and anna if you're reading, my friend alex would totally dig that diary!
Wednesday, November 11
it's 8:04, i should be worried about missing my buss ! ahahah umm but i went on fb for a bit cos i had time! couldn't do much tho ! but anyway yeah looking at tht iec party's photos aww, i could feel such a happy sad farewell vibe!
anyway what was i supposed to say ? :( now that i'm on here, i totally forgot...
=/
i swear i had to say something LOL
oh well. i finallllllllly went out again. yay to sportsgirl. just being in there made me feel alive again - not that i didn't when i was grounded, cos i had heaps of fun :) and yum to habibs. and work on saturday was heaps good! and english assignment - i feel screwed! i don't know how to start. ummmm okay, honestly i totally forgot :(
BUT I ADDED ONE MORE THING TO MY "NEVER GIVE UP LIST", it had a bit of rage but who says that doesn't motivate you and make you strive for the better? :) and and i think it's good. ha, dickhead! :)
and to be added on my bucket list
to dedicate & to have a song dedicated to me on 106.5 with richard mercer! aww man i've been listening to love song dedications more than ever now - i love how they have classics and modern. it makes me nostalgic, seeing as mum and i would always listen to this when i was younger, in the car and i'd mock the guy's voice. mum absolutely loved it!
i'm happy. regardless of the things i've been encountering. i have a good feeling about this year!
x
Sunday, November 8
think i'm in love with my radio
seriously, the radio (L) thanks judy! and speaking of radio, at work i keep hearing beyocne's - radio song. i like :) and the radio, i lovvve my phone! it makes it so easy :) i'm worried because that i won't be doing work in my free periods anymore because as of tomorrow, everybody's finally getting the free periods and i have yarah, leanne & robert! MUWAHHAA :) i seriously had the happiest sunday watcing a bit of video hits, doing homework, eating bun rieu and listening to the best radio hits! they've got oldies, newies, everything. and and anadnnandandnadna nanadndandan i love michael buble! loveeeeee! and his new song makes me want him even more, he sounds likea bit of a fag but look how cheerful it is! and seriously, he's s optimistic even though he hasn't met her yet :) gosh. ANYWAY, CIAO edit he's a bit dry, but look he's from ffrance :) omg i want to meet french-viet people. orj ust simply french! omg ithink i might want to study in france
Saturday, November 7
i was watching a walk to remember earlier - and it gets me everytime. their date. how they're in two places at once. how he learns how to dance for her & they dance on their balcony together to Someday We'll Know by Mandy Moore ft. John Foreman. i love romance, that's for sure! it's put me in such a good mood. here's what made me awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww before i hit the sack. clicccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk !it also made me realize how much i loved that song TRUE by RYAN CABRERA :) it's amazing. oh wow. i'm such a dick LOL. btw a few weeks ago. a once special somebody apologized to me for something they did months and months ago that hurt, and i think im only blogging to express my thanks! they wont read it, but, really, thanks. i needed that closure even though i told myself i'll soldier on and take it. now, if only everybody had the decency to apologize! :P
Friday, November 6
teenagerants, not really ?
I am starting to read a book called Tuesdays With Morrie, and hopefully, by the time I finish reading it, Morrie's wisdom will sink in. Highly unlikely, as that takes time and experience but I hope I'll feel refreshed at least. Days pass quickly now and sometimes you realize wow, weeks go by and you don't even remember the slightest bit of it. I feel old, and that's not right. This happens though, right? I'll just take it as it is and hope for the very best. There's sunshine ahead. Well, there better be! I'm finally allowed out on Sunday and if Newtown isn't its usual bright self, I don't know what will be anymore. I'm scared to screw up with my English assignment. I'm scared to screw up with my Textiles assignment. I have a whole lot of fear on me right now and I just don't know what will shake it. I wish things were dandy at home, but the daunting thing is knowing that it'll be like this until I'm free, of HSC. I can't wait to be free. I want to live my life the way I want to. I know I won't have a car or even my P's at least, nor will I have saved up my travel money, but I do know I want to run. Keep pushing and you'll see how far away I'll be. :) On a lighter note, there's camp soon! I'm looking forward to it, it's actually the only thing I'm pumped for, but I don't want to be pumped for it because everytime I'm pumped for something these days, it turns chatttty.
UWS on tuesday made me realize how much I don't want to be at a uni that's so in the middle of nowhere, thanks! it also made me realize that i shouldn't bother with certain people. ooooops i gotta run for school now !
[edit]
i'm not allowed out on sunday, because apparently i'm grounded til monday. i'm only cut because she said yes in the first place and i was looking forward to it since monday haha. it's okay though. i guess, if i'm not allowed, i'll try and not let the day go to waste. and for the haters,sure, i'm a rude, drunken, selfish, bitchy slurrry and i'll sure as hell fail in life. believe what you want. i'll see how it goes! i know a lot of people treat everything as a competition, fair enough, but i'm willing to accept that i won't be better than you guys :) i'm fine with being me. i just need to find out who that is first! days have gotten better at school, but i hate being sick - i hope i'm not too sick next year, because i don't do anything. i'm at my worst. my nose hurts!
i love talking to great people on msn, you know who you are!
xxx
[/edit]
Monday, November 2
sometimes it's not fair
that you worry and care & go out of your way to make sure something's okay only to be treated so little in return. it's happened before so i should be quite strong about everything but i think it's time to accept the fact that i'm a pussy . LOL. sigh.
it's going to be the longest, quickest year. that's okay :) keep your eye on the prize
p.s. when mylinh called & they wanted a girl's night, i was tanning in my backyard.. let's just say i can finally tick something off my list. ruthless. ;)
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